Once in a while, I get this little voice in my ear (don’t worry — it’s a friendly voice) that says, “Be kind to the environment!”
This usually ends badly. Or at least, it ends in confusion. Do I take my own reusable canvas bags to the grocery store, then buy disposable bags and take them home in my reusables? Or do I just use grocery store bags and reuse them at home? Or should I recreate my entire life to be more environmentally conscious, and how does one do that with dirty diapers? (Do not answer that.)
Not to mention, in the world of Being Good, the internet has a thousand contradictory factual statements about what you should do to Be Good. And if they don’t contradict, they at least are so numerous that they give me an instant headache.
It’s so much easier to be bad.
Won’t you be bad with me? Be real, real bad. Be so bad, you don’t even use proper grammar or sentence structure.
Meanwhile, I had one of those Be Good moments in which I was in the Expensive Aisle of the grocery store where all the Be Good stuff is crowded together onto a few shelves, and I thought, hey, I need deodorant. I will buy Good deodorant. That would make me a Good person.
I bought Crystal Essence Mineral Deodorant Roll On Pomegranate. Paraben free! Hypoallergenic! No aluminum chlorohydrate! Leaves no white residue! Promotes skin generation! (What? Do my armpits needs more skin?)
So what is the difference between deodorant and antiperspirant? Not even Wikipedia could tell you for sure. The only thing I know is that antiperspirant stops the sweat from coming out and deodorant sees the sweat and tells it to get lost.
Basically, I am wearing pomegranate perfume. Or I was. Before I went back to being bad. (Sorry, Earth!)
Maybe I will go all “maverick” and make my own deodorant. I don’t see how that could go wrong…