- “This is only a test of the emergency notification system.”
- A husband who removes arachnids and insects and who doesn’t tell me about the bigger critters.
- Modern medicine and the pharmacy in my bathroom cabinet.
- The car’s check engine light comes on, but it somehow coasts all the way home and dies in the driveway and not in the middle of nowhere.
- A father who would sit in his teenage daughter’s bedroom and watch back-to-back (-to-back-to-back) episodes of Friends while she goes through a breakup.
- The work meeting that ends without me having spilled coffee all over the conference table, the minutes I was taking, and myself.
- PureGreen24
- The tornado warning for our area has expired.
- A boss who says, “Why don’t you take off before the roads get bad.”
- Hand sanitizer.
- “In the case of a real emergency, this message would contain further information and instructions.”
- Natural fiber blankets that don’t conduct electricity.
- The aroma of bread baking, cookies fresh from the oven, or a good ol’ fashioned pomander rotting by the litterbox.
- Mom’s words of wisdom, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, completely free of charge. “You’re not sick.” “Don’t worry about it.” “Stop thinking about it.” And my all time favorite: “I’ll tell you when to start worrying.”
- Life’s little distractions: a consuming work of fiction; Seinfeld reruns; word games; unraveling and restitching a knitting project; Bubble Safari.
- People of the Internet who will direct you to seventeen thousand different home remedies for whatever ails you (real or imagined).
- Seeing a gang of turkeys gobbling across the backyard and realizing their life is probably tougher than mine. And shorter.
- The calming scent of baby sunscreen.
- Waking up in the middle of the night before Thanksgiving and NOT having a panic attack.
- “This is only a test.”
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14 is the best.
I agree! And I’m stealing “I’ll TELL you when to worry about it” for my ever worrying daughter.
She will thank you for it later! (Publicly, in a blog post.
)
So funny, and, yet, I can seriously relate to them all (except for 8 and 19). I hope the paparazzi near the litter box doesn’t scare the kitty or kitties!
I guess you don’t throw on a football helmet at the slightest sign of a tornado possibility, ay? … … Neither do I. *shifty eyes*
LOL! Sillyliss!! I love your dad, I love your mom (I’ll TELL you when to start worrying), and I love your car. Please mail them to my house ASAP! Thank you very much!